As I sit in my backyard surrounded by trees, the sun streaming through the branches, a river streaming past me and my dog frolicking through the grass, I have the sudden urge to blog. How can I not feel inspired while surrounded by God’s Beauty, all the while I ponder the day that just past. I am more rambling for my sake rather then to entertain or inform someone… why would anyone want to sit and read my ramblings anyways….seriously… I was not born with the gift of writing (or grammer for that matter) so to entertain myself specifically I continue to write.
What a ridiculous day… this morning I woke up with such anxiety I didn’t know what to do with myself…if anything it pushed me more to make it to church on time. As I was getting ready and driving the 20 minutes into Willmar thoughts and fears came flooding into me… thoughts of shame, embarrassing moments and situations that made me question my salvation…Hurts from different relationships, fears of such inadequacy I felt like I was going to break down and cry before I even made it to church. I dont know where this was coming from this fear, this anxiousness, this regret and shame, and doubt.
It was there taunting me as I tried to find a place to sit in the movie theater like seating in the massive church without interupting everyone else standing and worshiping… it was there through out worship as I prayed and tried to focus on the words that I was singing and the presence of Christ that I knew was there… and yet still throughout the message I was distracted with lies and lack of self confidence… truly my confidence was shot… I was so at loss with myself I was shaking and ready to cry. I was able to have a brief conversation with my mentor and give her a hug and receive an encouraging and friendly words from her that for a moment uplifted me and gave me hope.
I didnt know what was wrong with me… I’m heading off to work at a bible camp and some of the many lies and doubts and fears stemmed from this adventure i am about to embark on… especially the feeling of inadequacy… Maybe Satan has been trying to take me down before I leave for a beautiful Summer all for God… I dont know… I do know I couldn’t breathe most of the morning until I started reading Ephesians. I have been terrible at reading the bible… and its crucial to my every day, especially since I will soon be off to minister to young girls at a Christian Camp… I REALLY need to be in the word!
Mmmm beautiful beautiful passages in Ephesians, then again everything in Scripture is beautiful. But I found strength and hope while reading.
Wow, Ephesians is thick with so much nutrients… that I needed this morning. As I was reading I was encouraged by Chapter 1 right away. Ok Seriously ALL of Ephesians was encouraging!!! I really want to memorize the whole book haha…
Ephesians 1:4-5
“For he chose us in him before creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons and daughters through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will –“
Wow! He chose me before creation…in love he adopted me as His daughter by sending his Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross and reconcile me with God… and in all of this, it is in accordance to the Lord’s pleasure and Will! He took pleasure in adopting me as His daughter…
Ephesians 2:10
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
I LOVE this verse! For one, it shows (to me anyways) that God is an Artist =) and that I am one of His works of Art… I love art, the creativity, the thought, and talent of the artist, the heart that is put into a piece, then to display it, to share it with others to see… for an artist to make a piece of art, they kind of have to want to make something (not including commissions…) No one commissioned God in creating us. No one payed God to make me… God wanted to create this piece of art because He finds joy… he wanted to create me… He finds Joy in me! Also God has prepared good works in advance for me to do… such as He has prepared me to work at Camp Shamineau as a counselor this summer… otherwise I would not have gotten accepted to be hired. So in this I take great hope and encouragement… and thank my Abba Father for loving me so much to think about me before he even made the earth, and for preparing good works for me to do in His name!
Ephesians 3: A prayer for the Ephesians
14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Where to begin! Wow… yes i want to KNOW this LOVE that Surpasses knowledge!!! And to be filled to the measure of ALL the fullness of God! Oh how my entire being yearns for this…
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.”
For me this was convicting… I am not always kind or compassionate… especially to strangers… But also being called to forgive one another just as Christ forgave me… something I am struggling with right now… I feel I make it so complicated but its simply stated here, “forgive each other, just as Christ God forgave you” so i pray may God help me to simply forgive those that hurt me just as He has forgiven me…
Ephesians 5:1-2
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
This following the last verse I quoted also continues to convict me. I want to live a life of love just as Christ came down and showed us through His love… I want my life to be a fragrant offering and sacrifice for my Heavenly Father
So many things in Ephesians got me thinking, convicting, and encouraging me…
16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. – 2 Timothy 3:16-17
